I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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