Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize