He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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