I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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