dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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