did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize