You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
