piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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