he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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