Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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