i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
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Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
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You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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