is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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