i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize