I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
