Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
