The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
