While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
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All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need to sanitize my soul.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize