It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
my liver is dry heaving
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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