6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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