I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
