What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
