it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
