im having a threesome with these popsicles
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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