God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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