if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I didn't notice because vodka
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
