$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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