My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
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Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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