i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize