i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
