I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
