Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
