Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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