It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
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he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
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After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
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