I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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