Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
