There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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