Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
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How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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