I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize