My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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