Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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