Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I've blown a few things in my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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