He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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