Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house