If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
