Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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