I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Dick very happy bro
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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