I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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