You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
