yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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