9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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